life is gift

Time to emo again.
I heard something and the heart of comparing is pop out again.
argh. shouldn't compare actually.
I hate and i avoid hearing something great from other, "He is rich" "he score 4A" "he is talented".
These stuffs making me feel pressure and make me shout out, I will better than them.
But when the time I want to shout out, i being silenced because I can't. Yes, I can't be better than anyone when I desired to. That is a lot of ambiguity out there that i wouldn't know whether I can or cannot.
Sigh
God make us specific and what we are.
Just like I'm unique in knowing all thing in average. With the concept of "best or nothing" from Benz, you can say I'm nothing. XD
Anyway, talents and outcome is gift from lord.
Maybe I'm better than the one who take 30 or more years to success by taking 29 years time.
well... is still success anyway.
anyway, thx lord for everything he had gave... and fortunate enough I'm not born as a female at Afghanistan.

A love of a mother

this blog post was inspired by observing my 7 cute little cuties this morning.
when i try to touch the little one, the mother of these seven fellow will come quickly as it want to see whether got any danger or not? or try to protect them because I'm dangerous... =..=

I saw a young one walking alone away from the group, den the mother go and bite him (helping this young little one clean up it body). I feel amazed and i feel the love.

mother's love is wonderful.. And while i looking on them, I said: "god, look at your creation. Is wonderful.. and the mother's love, i know it is not happen by chance but with your own hand, u make this.
I know You are watching us, just like me watching them now."

sigh.. suddenly miss my family. quite a period of time not home.

I'm a damn weird guy! but i like it~~

I'm a weird guy, something pop up from my mind which i'm totally agree.
I'm weird in friendship and I'm weird in study as well.
Nah.. Not i don't like to talk much, but it is hardly to find myself talk to each another well by just two of us. I will be more humorous mostly in group of peoples.

I so weird that I don talk much to an old friend mainly because I'm trying to hide the distance between the niche changes. of course, saying hi but saying not more than that to a good friend sound so weird and lack of friendliness. I try to avoid this.

What i do now a day, i don talk much..
a principle of mine being other's friend is, i don back-stab, i don talk nice thing, i don pretend "brothers" to each another.

But whenever u ask, i will help.
So is it sound not sincere? sincerity doesn't need to show out just like we believe in god. XD

Crying me

dear lord Jesus, how long can i stand it for....

less update the blog now cause recently was busy like an ant.. argh... lots and lots of tons and tons of works. I want to shout "give me more time".
argh.. i got that heart i got that motivation. but i don have enough time.
So, i come out with new plan. Hope it will make more time.
god please bless me.

An unhappy Dean

Getting an honour thing from Uni is suppose to feel honour about it
But i feel how ironic when i holding a 16.5 marks midterm paper couple of hours ago and holding a dean list the next.
argh...
Thx for encouragement from Dr lim.
yeah. Don take it as a momentum to drive me to higher level.

after all, im not good in semester.
try to got an A minus for my environment if possible.