At the most vulnerable state

Never being so vulnerable since and sometime I will think if it calls losing a job. Technically, I open a shop and have my own business since then. It is difficult be it my business already break even but I do not gain a single penny up to now. It has been half year and I have felt despair since then.

Lots of pressure, urgency cropping up whether from qualities to deliver, customer's satisfaction, multi-tasking and many more. At this moment, I've thought luck was important and luck is needed to get through this. But on the other part of my mind will say, didn't God answer our prayer through us and answer it very originally? It means harvest from sowed field. Fairness of lord, it have sticked with me all this long. God is fair to every single person, where harvest for those who had sown. The only things make us different is chances of encounter. We encounters or expose to certain chances differently. Example like Jack Ma from Alibaba, there are few million peoples in China and I bet there are thousand of them doing the same thing as him. Anointing from the lord make him different (whether he is Christian or not). This is the sort of chances and encounter that only happen in probability of lower than 1%. Do you think this one percent going to happen on you? And some would said try or never. It is two different end of spectrum.

You know what, I've tried to film a video and one American (view from America) watched for only 42 seconds. WHAT?? It is a big laughing stock.

I'm in a very vulnerable state and hope Lord will show me what to do, perhaps bring me some luck (I don't think it would understand from Bible). I really in a confusion state and I need money.

Your sporadic son.